As I graduated college in 1995 and began the job hunt I felt that I was driving aimlessly without a license or a map and suddenly felt I was lost again. I had an instant loss of identity and had no idea where I fit in. I went from 4 years of searching and forming who I thought I had become to not having a clue. I constantly found myself talking to God saying “hello God, it’s me Emily, Help, what is next?” At that point in my life I did whatever I thought I was supposed to do, the next “logical” job. I applied for the position of Director of Youth Ministry in the Episcopal Diocese of Connecticut and here I am 14 years later as the Missioner for Youth and Young Adult Ministry in the Episcopal Diocese of Connecticut.
Given the uncertainty of the future and the transitional nature of the lives and the Church around me, I was consistently struggling and asking these questions
- Who am I?
- Am I significant?
- Where do I fit in the world?
- Who is God?
- Is my faith my own?
We are a culture that continually seeks to define itself and its members, and the task of defining contemporary young adults is counterproductive. Young adults resist being categorized because it denies individuality to those for whom individuality is extremely important. Defining young adults is challenging because one can find characteristics of all current generations present in contemporary young adults. Like the rest of the population, young adults are experiencing a world in transition, if not turmoil. While those of us beyond young adulthood face new questions, anxieties, and fears as a result of the changing world, young adults face these things in the midst of their own lives in transition. It adds one more subtle dimension of uncertainty in the midst of an uncertain time of life.
In the Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 we are reminded that life is about constant transitions.
- To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
- A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, a time to reap that which is planted;
- A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
- A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
- A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
- A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
- A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
- A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
In Sharon Parks book Big Questions, Worthy Dreams: Mentoring Young Adults in Their Search for Meaning, Purpose, and Faiths in working with young adults she mentions three dimensions in working with young adults that is imperative for congregations.
Hearth
- Place that draws us and hold us
- Places of balance and sustenance
- We are warmed in body and soul
- Places of nurture teaching forming and reflection
- The story of god’s people is told here again and again.
Table
(Gastro-evangelism)
- Where a place is set for you and you are welcomed
- A place of sharing what is on the table
- Where you will be placed under obligation (sharing, waiting, thanksgiving, accommodating)
- A place of ritual and commitment
- Persons are fed here
- The story becomes part of us here
Commons (the story of transfiguration)
- Where we meet and engage others and the world
- We bring together disparate elements of the community
- We confirm a common, connected life even in the midst of conflict and agreement
- A center of shared faith and grounded hope
- The story is enacted here.
In Paul’s letter to the Thessalonians he says “We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.” My life is a journey of building relationships in the name of God by sharing my story and faith journey. One of my mottos is “I am because I have experienced.” I am who God has called me to be because others have listened to my story and shared their stories and we have experienced the gospel together on my walk with Christ.
Emily Perow is the Missioner for Youth and Young adult ministry in the Episcopal Diocese of Connecticut
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